These are real notes written by parents in a MISSOURI school district. Spellings have been left intact.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce Lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe th e trots.
12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.