Friday, July 25, 2008

Why I would not, could not, have more kids

I read this story on a homeschooling board, and thought it was good enough to share. This is one reason I will NEVER EVER get one of those big vans! With 5 kids we fit perfectly into our Town and Country, and that's enough for me!


Yes, you read it right! I DROVE over another car in the parking lot of the grocery store. I drive a 15 passenger van (no it does NOT have tires like a monster truck either!). We went to the store to pick up a birthday cake on the way to my dd's 11th party at the bowling alley. I had pulled through to park in the spot and just had to pull out and go! But no! I got in my van to go and there was this elderly couple across the lane walking........very..........s...l...o...w...l...y . I was impatient and thought I could pull out a little less than I normally would and still clear the car next to me. So I pull out and hear this ssss...cccc...rrrr...aaaa..pppp....eee (scraping majorly!) The kids start screaming MOM, MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?" I shout at them to be quiet and the elderly couple STOPS walking to open their mouths very wide and GAPE at me! Well, the scraping stops and I think OK, I must've cleared it, so I start trying to move forward again. Elderly couple still standing there IN MY WAY just gaping. I thought about getting out to help them close their mouths, but I really was in a hurry. Then I hear that noise again!!! And the car doesn't seem to feel level anymore. Kids start screaming again, "MOM, MOM REALLY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????" I start panicking. I can't go backwards now. I have to keep going forwards. Why in the world won't those elderly people shut their mouths and go into the store? Why is my car higher on the passenger side than the driver's side? How can I get my van off the hood of the car next to me????? I must keep going. You can only imagine the horrible sounds of scraping and crushing metal that were coming from the passenger side of my van. Finally I got my van off the hood of the other car and the van kind of jolted to level pavement. Doggonit! Those elderly people are still standing there with their mouths wide open and now they have other people standing there with them! Their mouths are wide open too!!!I pulled my car down to an open area in the parking lot (with NO other cars nearby and realize that my van is no longer level again. WHat in the world was that awful hissing noise? Oh, the other car ripped open my tire. Hmmmm, guess we are going to be late for the party. Wonder what the other car looks like. I guess I'm going to have to go in and report a fender bender in the parking lot. I go down and look at the other guys car. OH, MY, GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!I really hope some of that damage was there before he parked it. Could I have really crushed the entire drivers side of his car? Where did all the other monster trucks go so fast? There just had to be more cars doing this than just me. Now I'm shaking like a leaf and really in tears. Those old people are STILL standing there! And their mouths.... it was becoming like a horror movie.....I went in and told the manager that he needed to page the owner of xyz car. I told the guy that I hit his car in the parking lot and I was REALLY REALLY sorry. He went out to look at it. I was starting to get dizzy now. Couldn't stop crying and shaking. My kids were eerily silent. Now I had to call DH! Oh, what in the world would HE say???? Called him. He came. He looked.He was so shocked!!! He started laughing hysterically. He sat down in the parking lot and just laughed his head off. Well, now what do I do? He's lost his mind and I have all these children to raise! He asked me why I didn't STOP when I heard the first scrape? Hmmm, I don't think that even entered my mind. Those people with their mouths wide open were really distracting me! All I could think about was that I needed to get away from that car! The car was completely totalled. It honestly looked like it had been rolled over by 2 or 3 of those monster trucks at a truck rally. There was no way to open the drivers door and the hood was completely mangled. Dh said that he would never have imagined that this much damage could have been done with one car moving at barely 5 mph and the other standing still! He said it looked like people should have been killed! (Well, the other car was killed.) All my van had was a little dent in the passenger door. That made him laugh even more! We've never even had it fixed. I don't think I've ever seen my dh laugh so hard in all his life. I hope and pray that the other guy got a really nice new car and parked it evermore in the nether-regions of every parking lot he ever goes to! Although, that's where *I* park now, so........

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