How do you do it?

As a mother of many, I get asked this question a LOT. So, I thought I'd take a shot at giving an answer for once. (normally I just smile and don't say anything)

First, I pray often. I pray that God turns me into the mother that my children need me to be. There is no sense in trying to turn myself into what I might think the ideal mother is if it is not what is best for my kids. I pray often for patience, guidance, and understanding of my children. So far, God hasn't let me down! (and I believe he never will)

Second, I have a GREAT partner in life. Jeremy truly is my partner. He picks up the slack when I need it, he picks me up when I'm down, he celebrates my accomplishments, and always forgets my shortcomings. We don't always see eye to eye on everything, but for the most part I think we compliment each other well and make a good team. We also team up with the kids and our family motto is "we are all in this together." It just makes life easier if everyone works together for our family.

I also prioritize what's important. Will my kids remember that all of their clothes were washed in a timely manner and folded neatly in their drawers or will they remember working together in the garden or playing marcco polo in the living room on rainy days. Of course I don't know the answer for sure at this early stage in life, but so far signs point to them caring more about quality time with a mom than a perfectly picked up house. One of my favorite poems by Harland E. Fitch:

When I think of the fish

that have waited for me,

That have waited for me

in the depths of the sea,

In the turbulent streams

and the rollicking brooks,

While I slaved at my work

and toiled over my books,

And never took time

for a season of play

Where the finny sports-master

drive trouble away,

I'm sorry I've been

such a diligent cuss

And let the fish wait

while I worry and fuss

And grow old too soon,

with no time but to wish;

Now I'll let the work wait

while I play with the fish.

There will be as much work

when my work days are done;

If I can't do it all,

then why live on the run?

Let me live while I live

ere my limit is past

If I miss all the bliss

what is left at the last?

I have learned it pays well

if I slacken my gait,

Take time out for pleasure

and let the work wait.

Having a lot of kids really isn't as chaotic as a lot of people think it is. When a new person joins the family there is a period of adjustment, but then the new amount of kids just becomes the new reality and you forget all about what life was like just a few months earlier. For us, having 5 isn't any different than having 2, just more little socks to match up.

I do have to say I find it very important to have good friends and family around because sometimes we all just need a break!

But really it all comes down to the kids. They are wonderful people. I think I learn from them just as much as they learn from me. I have found they each have traits that I have come to admire and really respect them for. I love the way they love each other, and it is my sincere hope that they will remain the best of friends in life. Of course they are not perfect people, and I'm not a perfect mother, so we teach each other about forgiveness and grace.

We all are just doing the best we can, and hopefully we'll all come out OK in the end.